Noises and Things That Go Bump Anytime

I'm on an anti-noise campaign. I'm generally easy going, but I've been pushed to the limit. Enough is enough. Noise is the constant companion of everything we do and everywhere we go these days. Apparently, the Powers that Be have decided that Silence is the Enemy!

The Rant Begins

It's not just noise, but the level of the noise that's becoming intolerable. On the level of intolerable, the Loo gets the first prize. Here's the scene: You're shopping and Nature Calls. You locate the restroom and find the stall. After attending to business, the toilet (one of those water-saving monsters) decides you're finished and flushes at a decibel count greater than a rock concert.

You wash your hands and the dryer buzzes on, sounding like an enraged lion at the circus. Unlike said lion who limits the roar to a show of bravado, the stupid blow dryer keeps roaring and roaring and roaring until you've exited the store, gotten into your car, and driven out of the parking lot.

What about Stores Themselves!

Canned, blasting ersatz music blares from speakers above your head, guaranteeing you won't have to endure a moment of silence whether you're contemplating new underwear, a can of peas, or an oil filter. You can't escape it.

Once, while shopping for a gift for my daughter, I entered a store and the noise was so intense inside that I asked the clerk if she could please turn it down so I could think. (I was the only customer at the time). The clerk gave me a blank stare and informed me it was company policy to enhance the buying experience. I stared back, told her it had enhanced me out the door without making a purchase, and left.

Want to have some lunch? Be prepared for more of the same. Try to have a conversation while some woman screams or whines at you from speakers placed strategically to ruin your dining pleasure.

At Home

The clothes dryer is the worst offender here. I've considered taking a .22 to the blasted thing when it alerts me to the end of the drying cycle by bleating like a constipated bulldozer. I've timed the caterwauling at 11 seconds. It didn't take me that long to give birth. I'm getting one of the new models that I've heard has an Off option.

There's more, but I'm willing to let you have your say here. What noises drive you nuts?